Why Do Phone Calls Disrupt My Sense of Control?
I know what you're thinking - "What's the big deal about phone calls? They're just a necessary part of communication, right?" Well, let me tell you, as someone who struggles with autonomy anxiety, phone calls can be downright suffocating. The moment that ringtone goes off, my heart starts racing and I feel like my sense of control is being hijacked.
It's not just the actual conversation itself that gets to me - it's the anticipation leading up to it. Will they call at a good time? Will we have something interesting to talk about? Will they ask me questions that make me uncomfortable? The uncertainty is what really gets under my skin.
- I'm a planner, not a spontaneous person. I like knowing exactly when and where things are happening, and phone calls disrupt that sense of predictability.
- I'm also a perfectionist, which means I worry about saying something stupid or offending someone (even if it's just a friend). The pressure to be "on" during a call is exhausting.
- And let's not forget the feeling of being trapped. When you're on a phone call, there's no easy way to escape - you can't just hang up and walk away like you can with an email or text.
So, what can I do to restore my sense of control in these situations? Here are a few strategies that have worked for me:
- Schedule it out**: When possible, suggest specific times for the call and stick to it. This way, I know exactly when to expect the conversation.
- Prepare ahead of time**: Make a list of topics or questions you want to discuss beforehand. This helps me feel more in control and reduces anxiety about what might come up during the call.
- Take breaks**: If I'm feeling overwhelmed, it's okay to suggest taking a break mid-call. This gives us both a chance to recharge and can even make the conversation flow better afterwards.
I know it sounds silly, but these small tweaks have made a big difference in how I approach phone calls. By regaining some sense of control, I'm able to feel more confident and relaxed during our conversations.
Of course, not everyone will understand or relate to my autonomy anxiety - and that's okay. But for those who do, know that you're not alone. And remember, it's always okay to prioritize your own emotional well-being and take steps to restore your sense of control.